Orgasm denial 101

Hello everyone!

I am well aware that there are already a few orgasm denial blogs out there who tried summarizing what orgasm denial is about, but I figured there's no harm in giving it a shot as well. Take it like some kind of dictionary.

What is female orgasm denial?

It's kinda self-explanatory: a female, mostly a submissive like me, is denied to have an orgasm. That's the one thing all girls on denial have in common, besides from that, everything can vary.

• Denial period: some girls are denied a few hours, some a few days, and some are denied for months, years, even forever
• Control: very strong girls can practice orgasm denial on their own, but I suppose most of them have a dom, daddy, etc. who is in control of their orgasms
• Strictness: some girls are allowed to have ruined orgasms during their denial period (more on that topic down below!), some are not allowed to even touch themselves
• Reasons: my reason for orgasm denial is the control aspect – I love handing over my control to my dom. Some girls put their dom's pleasure in front of their own, some get orgasms as reward for something (i.e. daily exercising, reaching a certain goal, etc.)

What is edging?
 

Edging is stimulating yourself just until you're about to have an orgasm, and then stopping. You can edge yourself or be edged by someone. You can practice edging with your fingers or toys. Humping inanimate objects is also a fun way to stimulate yourself.

How often you edge is up to you or your partner in control, but to not accidentally have an orgasm, it's best to have a break between two edges. I, for example, can edge very quickly. It's not unusual that I do 50 or more edges in one session. Some other girls can only do 3 – 10 edges per day. How often you edge is not important, though – you edge so you keep being aroused, so that you really desire having an orgasm. Orgasm denial is not “I haven't cum in days because I didn't have the time, didn't feel motivated to masturbate, etc”, it's more like “I would do anything to have an orgasm right now, but I won't, because I don't have permission, because I want to reach a certain goal, etc”.

There is a small, but noticeable difference between edges:

• Soft edges: as soon as you think you might orgasm soon, stop all stimulatio
• Hard edges: masturbating beyond that feeling, until you are the slightest moment away from your orgasm, then stop all stimulation

In order not to orgasm without permission, it might be best to start with soft edges. Only when you're very sure that you could resist the temptation of cumming, go for hard edges.

To keep up your high level of arousal during your denial period, it's best to edge multiple times per day. How often you edge is up to you or your partner in control, but I think the consensus in the orgasm denial fandom is to edge at least three times a day.

What is a ruined orgasm?

Ruins are the mean little brothers of actual orgasms. To achieve a ruined orgasm, you have to go for a hard edge, then keep stimulating yourself for a moment longer until you start to feel yourself tip over the edge and start cumming, and then stop all stimulation. A girl's ruined orgasm is visible: the clit starts twitching, and the pussy clenches around nothing.

So what do we girls feel when we ruin an orgasm? That can vary from girl to girl, but most girls experience a period of great arousal. It's frustrating and a little bit of a mindfuck: “What do you mean, you want an orgasm, you just came!”

Ruins can be used as a punishment as well as a reward. It sounds strange, getting that frustrating little ruin instead of a regular orgasm, but when you're in denial for a longer period, you take what you can get.

What is chastity?

Chastity devices for girls are mostly chastity belts. I can't say much about it because I haven't experienced it yet, but the girl is prevented from touching their own pussy. Therefore she can't edge or fuck herself or be fucked. Being in chastity can be used as a punishment for disobeying to the rules. There's other ways to be stimulated while being in chastity: mental edging, watching porn, reading erotica, etc.

What is no touch?

No touch is exactly what it sounds like: not being allowed to touch yourself. It can include not touching pussy, nipples, and ass, even humping might not be allowed. A chastity belt can help prevent the girl from touching herself.

How does an orgasm feel after prolonged denial?

If you've ever been denied, you know that when you finally do orgasm, it's far more intense than a normal orgasm. Most girls can naturally cum multiple times, but after being denied for some time it's even better. A lot of girls experience guilt trips after an orgasm though – and now I will go ahead and say this once and for all: you have absolutely no reason to. Even if you've only been denied for a few days or hours, that's fine. Orgasm denial is a highly individual thing and you never should compare yourself – or, if you're a dom reading this, your submissive – to someone else. I, personally, would never be able to go without an orgasm for a year or more. I managed six or seven months, but it was mentally and physically exhausting after a while.

In my opinion, every submissve girl should be allowed to feel happy that she got to experience an orgasm.

What are side effects of denial?

There are a lot of side effects of denial, but not every girl experiences all of those side effects.

• Wetness: girls get wet when they're aroused, and since the level of arousal doesn't stop, many girls leak or drip from their pussies
• Arousal: denied girls have a higher level of arousal, think about sex a lot, and want a lot of sex
• Positive thoughts: a lot of girls feel sexier and prettier when they're on denial. Definitely one of the big pro's!
• Sensitivity: many girls experienced a higher level of sensitivity, especially in their nipples
• Mental health: some girls might experience guilt, anxiety, sadness, depression. It's best to stop the denial then and figure out what went wrong. The most important thing is safety and consent!

What to do while on denial?

Lots of edging! Here are some ideas:

• Edging with toys: dildos, vibrators, plugs, nipple clamps, …
• Edging in different positions: standing, kneeling, on all fours, …
• Edging in different locations: all rooms around the house, in semi-public (public bathrooms, changing rooms, …)
• Edging on objects: pillow humping, sofa humping, boot humping, …
• Verbal teasing
• Watching porn, reading erotica, writing yourself
• Play edging games (just google them, there are a lot!)
• Sexting
• Doing tasks for your dom, daddy, etc. (cleaning, cooking, pleasuring them while not being allowed to pleasure yourself, …)
• Taking pictures or videos of yourself
• Punishments: spanking, whipping, ruined orgasm, take away her favorite toy, …

Why does one want to give up their orgasms?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question. I started orgasm denial for fun, but as I kept doing longer denial periods, I experienced a lot of positive effects of denial. I feel far more comfortable in my own skin now, I feel sexy (sometimes), I got confident enough to share pictures and videos of myself with all of you!

It's very arousing to have to ask permission for orgasm and to beg to be allowed release. Hearing “no” sometimes is enough to get me to the edge. I love how easily I get wet (seriously, a dildo slides into me so, so easily now!).

I like putting someone else's pleasure over my own. Denial makes me less selfish and helps me concentrate on my dom's pleasure.

I got kinkier through denial. I tried out things I thought I would never try or never even heard of before! Denial also made me able to take more pain.

All in all, it's about control. I love submitting, and there is no greater gift a submissive can give to her dom than her own orgasm.

The most important thing about orgasm denial is having fun with it and staying safe! Don't get pressured or pressure someone into denial, remember it should always, always stay consensual. Giving up your orgasms can be fun and exciting, it can make you feel amazing about yourself, it can spice up your sex life, and it can lead to the most amazing orgasms of your life. But it's not worth it if you don't have fun during that time!

As a dominant, please watch your submissive closely, talk to her, and take small steps. A newbie to denial probably can't do a four month denial period immediately! Remember everybody is different and it takes a lot of trust to give up your orgasms to someone else.

I hope I was able to teach you a little about what denial means and you learned some important orgasm denial vocabulary! If you have any questions or comments, I'd be happy to talk to you.

Stay kinky!

Love,

Sophie